Dorothy Is Leaving Oz

It's the eve of the eve of my departure. Right now my brain is buzzing. My mind is two sides to a coin. One side: I can't wait to see my family. I will rush to my niece and as long as I don't scare her, take her in my arms and give her a long overdue hug. I will spend my days making her laugh. Teaching her songs, and funny aussie slang to say to people. I will sit over a good cup of coffee and share my travels with my parents. See people I haven't seen in a really long time. Sit by the window and watch the snow fall. Be. For once.

Flip side of the coin: Byron Bay has been my home for over a year. Coming over God said I was here till He told me to move. Normally that wouldn't be a good enough answer for me but I truly had a peace about it. Course in my head I took that to mean I was here long term. And that is what I had prepared for. I've grown so much. Felt deep loss and experienced great healing. And the people I have done this with I am leaving. The family that I have walked with for so long, the family that has extended me so much grace. Given such words of wisdom and encouragement. The family that has been available to me at any given moment I am leaving in less than 2 days. And I don't know how to feel about that.

I know that my time here has been a journey God had to take me on in order for the next chapter in my life. I wouldn't be where I am at in my life right now if it hadn't been exactly where I needed to be. This has been the hardest year of my life. But at the same time one of the most amazing. Funny that. I am going home to take time to just BE. I need it so badly right now. To process all that has happened these last months. To prepare for the future. It's exciting. It's really scary too.

I got used to the land of Oz. I always missed home. Always desired to be back. But when you are in one place long enough you get comfortable there. And the deep ache to be in the last comfortable place dims a bit. On Tuesday I will put on my ruby red slippers and click my heels, lug my excess baggage and fly home....back to, well Nebraska. (It's close to Kansas.)

The cursor is blinking and I don't know what to type....